at what age does it get behavioral?

So, I am a behaviorist by trade. The consequences that happen after behavior determine the future frequency of behavior by either reinforcing (increasing) or punishing (decreasing) said behavior. I am at an interesting point because as a mother of an infant, I have subscribed mostly to the attachment parenting style. Yes, this behaviorist is a babywearing, (sometimes) co-sleeping, attachment parenting mama. And it works for us. I love the bond that this style of parenting has given me and my baby girl. I am truly tuned into her needs and she is a very happy and mostly easy baby. I believe that it is because of this parenting style that I am so attuned to her needs. So what does that say about me as a behaviorist? I am trying to mesh the two schools of thought and determine whether they can co-exist or if they are completely separate entities. Which if they are separate; they leaves me with the question "at what age does it get behavioral?". Now, as a learned behaviorist I know that is not a valid question because behavior is behavior no matter the age. But for me as a parent, that is my question.

As a preschool teacher, I would say that I subscribed to the school of tough love. I loved those kids and nurtured them, but I also was a very consistent teacher. I followed through with what I said. I set expectations for them and held them to it. I always thought that I would be that way as a parent too. And, I still think I probably will. But, does that style fit in with attachment parenting?

I am not a mom who can let her baby cry it out. I believe whole-heartedly in Dr. Sears' statement in The Baby Book. "For the first year of life, baby's wants and needs are one and the same." I feel that it is important for now, that I respond to my baby's only way of communicating by going to her and comforting her. The attachment parenting philosophy states that if babies get this response early on it will make them much more secure and independent children (see my qualm here that it doesn't fit with what I have learned as a behaviorist?) Bottomline is she doesn't have the skills to get her needs met at this point and I believe that it is my job as her mom to let her know that I will be there for her. Now, how does that fit in from the behavioral perspective? Well, the behavior that you don't want to see (crying) is likely to increase if she is getting what she wants from it (me coming to her), right? But you know what? That isn't what I see. She cries very little even though I do go to her when she cries. I do think that she has become more secure and independent from this parenting style. So is it about the communication? Do I subscribe to the one school of thought until she is able to communicate a different way (from crying) and then switch? I haven't read the chapters in The Baby Book yet about toddlerhood. I am interested to compare his thoughts to what I did with my little ones at school. It will be interesting to see how my behaviorist ways mesh with my attachment parenting ways in my own life and parenting.

What I have learned so far as a parent is that you go with what works. So I am not going to subscribe to one way or the other wholly in my parenting. I think I am going to take the pieces of each and make my own way. For now, I am an attachment parenting mama and a behaviorist by trade, and I will continue to ponder this conundrum as my baby girl and I grow together. I am interested to hear your thoughts......