the one with "Not Me! Monday!"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So, "Not Me" has been on hiatus due to Stellan's hospitization, but MckMama is back in full swing this week and to celebrate Stellan doing well, I have over a month's worth of "Not Me's" to share.

This beautiful little baby girl was most certainly NOT born SIX WEEKS AGO!

And she most certainly is NOT this sweet girl who is smiling, looking at people and toys and enjoying time in her swing.

Nor is she this adorable little girl full of personality!

And the pediatrician most certainly did not tell me that "she might just be a little bit high maintenance" when talking to her about her fussiness.

I DID NOT proceed to Twitter during the majority of labor with my little girl and I DID NOT make it one of my first priorities (after lots and lots of snuggling with my little girl) to get pictures posted on my blog. I DID NOT make it my sister's job to find a way to get my laptop on-line for me at the hospital soon after she arrived.

Here is a great list of my post-partum craziness NOT ME's:

• I DID NOT come running out of the shower (soap suds and all) when I heard a crash one of the first times I showered while my husband watched Maya. The crash was the floor-vac that my husband had dropped. I of course, had assumed that it was my child crashing to the floor, and when I called his name and he didn't answer, I DID NOT come flying out and them rip him to shreds when he was five steps away from her and "not watching" her-wow, poor guy!


• I DID NOT stand in the doorway wringing my hands and withholding my mother-hen clucking while my wonderful husband bathed our baby girl for the first time because he wasn't quite holding her the way I would in the baby bath.


• I DID NOT call my sister to come run errands with me so that she could stay in the car with Maya while I did some quick in/out errands (leave her with someone else-what??!! the thought never occurred to me), and then proceed to have to drive all the way back to my house because I forgot the paperwork that I needed for the errands.


• I DID NOT pray numerous times for my child to poop as we were working through her digestive, feeding, nursing issues.


• I have NOT snapped nearly 1,000 pictures of my 6 week old child (and that does not include all of the ones I have discarded), and subsequently filled up the hard drive space on my computer with my thousands of pictures.


• I DID NOT go to Target the day after we came home from the hospital because I just wanted to get out with my daughter and husband (note: this was before all the swine flu stuff, otherwise, I probably would not have gone out)


• I DID NOT get very upset when a woman at Costco decided to criticize my parenting because I had a 1 month old out at Costco during some misty, rainy weather, and resist the urge to tell her what I thought about her criticism. Seriously people, why do you feel the need to share your unwelcome advice and criticism? And no, if I don't know you, I would prefer you NOT touch my child.


• I DID NOT leave the house one day with my shirt inside-out and not realize it until several hours later when my lovely little sister pointed it out for me.
• I DID NOT discover the wonderful art of baby-wearing and all the wonders that it provides for a fussy baby and a mommy who wants to do a few things. I DID NOT try out a variety of slings over a week before I settled on one (the Baby K'tan).

I DID NOT eat something called a "redneck taco" from Martin's BBQ and I DID NOT enjoy it. (Note: this is a cornbread pancake with BBQ and cole slaw on it) Apparently this is number 7 on the top ten list of things to do before you die according to Gun and Garden and no, I am not kidding!

I also DID NOT arrive late to a baby shower that I was helping to host for my wonderful friend and neighbor because I had the time wrong. I am still blaming the new mommy fog for this one. The shower was still beautiful and I got to play photographer for it. Here are some of my favorite photos from the day.

I DID NOT take my high-maintenance dog (are we noticing a theme here?) to a holistic vet where she actually had a very successful visit unlike previous traumatic visits. Oh, and when I picked up her records from her previous vet the records most certainly DID NOT have a note written that she was a VERY BAD DOG (insert the appropriate amount of shock and horror here).

Okay, that is probably enough if anyone is still reading :o) Happy week friends!

PS- I DID NOT put the laptop in my bedroom hoping that I could link it during Maya's 3am feeding trying to be first on MckMamas not me list :o)