We said goodbye to our Sunny this morning. It was a very sad morning, but I feel peace this evening.
It started Sunday evening this week. We noticed that she was acting very weak and didn’t appear to be eating or drinking. We cuddled with her that night and took her to the vet in the morning. We quickly found out that she was very dehydrated. They kept her at the animal hospital for four days. It was a bit unclear to us as to how she was doing. We knew that her kidneys were failing her but that they were trying to rehydrate her. I started to accept the fact that she might never come home. I hated that, because I really just wanted her to be at home with us. We finally got the phone call that she could come home. We went to get her not knowing what she would be like. The vet techs said that she seemed so happy to see us. They sent us with special food and we were going to have to give her fluids daily.
We got home and she was barely able to walk. It was heart-breaking. She would try to take a few steps but would fall down. Jared and I started to worry about the quality of life that she could have. We set up the laundry room with her food and water and a soft bed. Once the kids went to bed, I brought her to the couch and she laid in my lap. She started to purr and I was encouraged that she might get better. When we went to bed, we made sure she was comfortable in her little room. Jared and I checked on her every few hours. When I last checked on her she meowed at me. At the time, I didn’t think much of it but looking back it was a strange sound, and I think she was saying goodbye. At seven, when Jared went to check on her she was gone.
It was so hard, but I think it was harder to explain to Maya. She knew that Sunny had come home and she knew that she was in the laundry room. I let her come in with me to tell her goodbye. Explaining death to a three year old is so difficult. I wanted to help her understand and process but adults can hardly understand it. She asked several times today where Sunny was. Jared was so sweet and buried her in the garden. He planted some irises from our wedding above her. Maya knows where she is and we are going to make a little stone to go in the garden with her. I wanted to protect her, but at the same time I wanted to be fair to her and answer her questions honestly and help her to understand the best that she could. She told me several times today that she wishes that Sunny could come home. I told her that I did too.
I am so grateful that we had that last night for her to be home. I am so grateful that she went in her sleep without pain. I am so grateful that she went on her own and that we didn’t have to make the decision. And I am so grateful to have had her as such a big part of my life.
She lived with me for twelve years. She was my first pet. She was my first adult decision. I got her when I had my first apartment, and she lived in every apartment and house that I have. She was here through marriage and two kids. She was a great cat. I remember her laying on my belly when I was pregnant with Maya. It was like she knew that her life was never going to be the same again :)
It’s so hard to say goodbye but I am so grateful that she passed in her sleep.
I found this picture which I am pretty sure is the day I brought her home.
Rest in peace Sunny
We miss you
